I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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