I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also, beer. Big fan.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
