You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
