I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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