you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
