Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
