i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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