That's intense
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
