We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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