i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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