I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
