Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere

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(618): View more from Illinois

we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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(586): View more from Michigan

Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes

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(303): View more from Colorado

I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.

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(747): View more from California

Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad

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