Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?