imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.