you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
