Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
