Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.