put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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