You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad