we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
