Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
