nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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