nut hugger
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
