Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
