You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
