He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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