I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
