Dual....:-)
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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