he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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