No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
