Your tits are I can't wait for
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
