whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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