Me. At least after what I've been through.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
