I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
