My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
