Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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