real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
