we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
