At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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