Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
