i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
