Since when is my name a synonym for head?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
