The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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