I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
