HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
