Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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