You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
