My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What drink are we having for lunch?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
