Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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