Dude my mom stole all your condoms
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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