Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
