NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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