organizing the empties. That sober.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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