Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
