How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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