Princesses don't give blow jobs
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
