Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
