I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
