i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
