He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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