You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
