I just saw a hot homeless man
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
