Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
