Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
