apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
BRING THE BAGELS
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