she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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