Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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