I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry about my life...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
