Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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