so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
