like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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