Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize