were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize