forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
