fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
sick fucks of a feather flock together
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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