if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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