This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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